Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Job Hunting

I'm back at the horrible and unenviable task of job hunting, as the job I currently have simply sucks and the torture must end. I've worked here for 3 years without a raise, and while it certainly has it's benefits in regards to flexibility of time, I just simply need more money to help out at home.

Did I mention I work for my father-in-law?

So I've been updating my resume and hitting the various job classified sections, both online and on paper. Monster, for all their hype, has yet to prove to me it actually works (I give it the benefit of the doubt because a friend of mine found a job here in Miami while living in Chicago), but I keep it active. Careerbuilder.com so far has been much better at giving me good leads, especially because the version I use has been customized for the South Florida market.

Just yesterday I sent out two resumes to two very interesting job postings, either of which would, I think, be very cool if they worked out. The first one is for a photography appraisal studio not far from my home in Miami Beach, and it involves both usual office tasks but also some creative work with Quark and their website. The other one is for an Office Manager at the Greater Miami Jewish Federation, which would be so incredibly good if only because I would be amongst other Jews so it makes life easier for me in terms of food, time off for holidays, prayers, etc. We'll see what happens.

It occurs to me that job hunting (why do they call it hunting if you don't use a spear?) is very similar to dating. In both you have to scan the field for available prospects, take a risk and put yourself out there, find a way to sell yourself better than you are to attract a good prospect and then hope by the time they figure out the real you they have grown attached to you and let it slide, send out letters and calls that project your desire yet hide your desperation, then wait with baited breath for a call that may or may not ever come. One of the reasons I am very happy to be married is that I don't have to be a part of the dating world anymore, and the same goes for being employed. But sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

All I have to say, to end on a geeky note, is that job hunting proves to me that things would be so much easier if job postings and job applications were written in terms of character stats. This way I could go to the newspaper and see a classified ad like this one: Office Manager, Requirements: Desk Jockey level 3, Bluff or Diplomacy 4 ranks, Computer 4 ranks, Intimidate 2 ranks, Knowledge (corporate crap) 2 ranks, MS Office Suite Specialization feat, Track Management feat, GM (General Manager) has final arbitration on specific requirements and may waive some at his/her discretion.

Then I could go to my resume (character sheet) and see that I have 4 levels of Desk Jockey, Bluff +3, Diplomacy +3 (I could get away with it), Computer +5, Intimidate +2, no ranks in Knowledge (corporate crap) but I do have the English Major Bullshitter feat (Once per day you may apply your Bluff skill bonus towards any Knowledge skill check) along with the MS Office Suite Specialization feat. I don't have the Track Management feat, but I could make a case that I am an eager learned and will take it next time I level.

Wouldn't things be so much easier like that?

1 comment:

Litlbeast said...


Now I want to write a humorous book translating modern life into rpg terms.

Um. Hm. *thinks more seriously about this*