Thoughts For 2006

Got this in the mail; I thought it was funny.

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Ten Thoughts to Ponder during 2006

• Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
• Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
• Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
• Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
• Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
• Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
• Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
• Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
• Number 2 - In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
• AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006: We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.